Frum & Colonial Women

My feminist opinions have taken control of my education. This term, I'm taking a course called, "U.S. Women's History" because I figured, "If I want to change things, I'd better know how they were changed in the past."

I'm only at the very beginning of the history right now and I'm finding similarities between modern frum societies and early Colonial American societies. The patriarchal system that ruled families, called "Domestic Patriarchy", in particular, has a lot in common with expectations in the frum world.

Let's start with education. Like in the frum world, boys and girls growing up in Colonial times received differing educations based on the roles that were set up for them in society. They all received "moral education," like the Jewish studies classes both boys and girls get in the frum world, but when it came to practical studies boys were taught reading, writing, and math, and girls were taught "French, sewing and knitting". (Delegard & Hewitt, p.98)

Granted today in frum society girls are also taught those basic subjects, but we're taught them so that we can care for our husbands and children, which pretty much equates with why Colonial girls were only taught "French, sewing and knitting". It was, "Parents [instructing] their children to take their proper place in [...] society by training them to perform tasks appropriate to their sex." (Delegard & Hewitt, p.97)

As for the life of those girls when they grew up, they were "encouraged to practice submissiveness to authority. [...] Gentlemen insisted that wives be submissive to their husbands, and women tolerated, and even on occasion supported, a subordinate role within the family". (Delegard & Hewitt, p.86)

I read that sentence and said to myself, "That could have been written about frum society today!"

And how about this: "A woman could expect to give birth every two to three years from marriage to menopause". (Delegard & Hewitt, p.89)

Another similarity.

I'm not necessarily writing this as a criticism, although I do find patriarchy appalling; I'm just noticing the similarities and am looking forward to studying how these women progressed in society, because I think the frum world needs a model to work from.

List of Works Cited:

Delegard, Kirsten and Hewitt, Nancy. "Women, Families, and Communities: Readings in American History." 2nd ed. Pearson Longman: New York.

Harry Potter's not Jewish & Snape's not Lubavitch.

I'm taking a break from the feminism stuff for this post to talk about an article on Time Magazine's website called, "You Didn't Know Harry Potter Was Jewish?"

As a Harry Potter fan and a Jew, I think I'm uniquely qualified to comment on this article.

The author writes about attending a wedding in Israel where he met a man named Adam Melech who said that, "Almost anything you need to know about Jews, you can learn from Harry Potter":

"Jews, he explains, are the wizards. The non-Jews are the muggles. And Israel's wizards are engaged in a kind of invisible spiritual warfare (just like in Rowling's books) that most muggles can't even see, much less understand. Rowling may be a muggle, says Adam, but she knew what she was doing. Why else would a yeshiva like Hogwart's be so central to their lives? Why would the power of naming and names be so important to both Jews and wizards? He offers further corollaries: Harry's spells are talmudic prayers; Hizballah are the Death-eaters; converts to Judaism are muggle-born wizards; and so on."

It's a cute theory, but the parallels clearly do not add up. Allow the fan-girl in me to break it down, piece by piece, and simultaneously showcase how much of a geek I am:

1. In the Harry Potter world, muggles and wizards are completely separate. They live in completely different worlds and muggles have no idea that wizards even exist. The same cannot be said for Jews and non-Jews. We're not only aware of each other, we're often hyper-aware of each other. We make up merely 0.2% of the world's population, yet we're constantly in the news. We're hardly a secret society.

2. Israel's wizards (aka Israeli Jews) engage in an invisible (aka spiritual) war that most muggles (aka non-Jews) can't see or understand? I'm not sure what Israeli wizards Adam is referring to. Do Jews fight spiritual battles? Absolutely. But that is not exclusive to the Jewish people. Non-Jews also fight spiritual battles. So explain to me, Adam, how this battle is invisible to muggles?

3. There is not enough evidence in the Harry Potter books to state, as Adam does, that Hogwarts is central to the lives of wizards. The books are written to follow the lives of three children as they progress through Hogwarts' school system, so obviously Hogwarts is central to their lives. But after they graduate, they move on and there's nothing in the books that

says that Hogwarts remains "central" to their lives.

4. Yes, it's true that names have a power in Judaism and in the Harry Potter books. And in so many other books. Roald Dahl did it with Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honeypot. Tolkein wrote an entire, Guide to the Names in Lord of the Rings, to explain his characters' names. And if you think that Jane Austen named Mr. Knightley coincidentally, you're really missing a lot.

5. Harry Potter's spells are not Talmudic prayers. In fact, what are Talmudic prayers?

6. I have nothing against saying that Hizballah are Death Eaters, though if you're interested in Rowling's original intent, she makes it absolutely clear that the Death Eaters are fashioned after the Nazis.

7. As for converts to Judaism being muggleborn... Well, I can see what he means by that one. There are people who discriminate against converts in Judaism solely because they are converts. It's just as ridiculous as the Malfoys claiming that Draco is smarter than Hermione merely because he's a pureblood.

The author ends the article by comparing a Lubavitcher in a band handing out alcoholic drinks to

the Half Blood Prince, which renders the article completely senseless. Any Harry Potter fan would laugh themselves silly at the imagery of Snape in a band handing out drinks, never mind picturing him as a Lubavitcher! Though maybe... *Runs to Photoshop and creates the following picture*:

Yup. Laughing silly.

Most importantly, even I, a reverent Harry Potter fan, (I speak of the books only! Not the movies!) wouldn't dream of saying that you could find "everything" about Jews in Harry Potter. Harry Potter is a work of fiction. Yes, it is a brilliant work of fiction, (I dare you to challenge that in the comments section!), but it is still just a piece of literature. The complexities and the beauty of being a Jew could never be found in something so mundane.

Why am I still frum?

I've spent so much time slamming the frum community on this blog that it's probably starting to sound like the answer to my question of, "Am I a frum feminist?" is that I'm more feminist than frum. I admit that I have misgivings about the frum community and my place in it. Why, after all, would I want to be a part of a community that I see so many flaws in?

In short, if I have so many problems with the frum world, why am I still frum?

The answer came to me this past week when I attended the bris ceremony (aka circumcision party) of my friends' 8 day old son.

As I stood in the crowd of people waiting to partake in the ceremony, I thought, "Oh my G-d, this is so barbaric! Crowding around a tiny baby, waiting to do that to him while serving a huge meal to celebrate, and everyone's smiling and laughing with each other..."

Except the celebration and the joy was about bringing this tiny person into a covenant (the real translation of the word, "bris",) - into a bond - with G-d, turning this apparently barbaric ceremony into the greatest sign of loyalty and love to G-d.

In a world where the moral code is based on human understanding, circumcision absolutely is barbaric. But in a world where the moral code comes from G-d, it becomes a sign of devotion.

There's no hope in this world for a moral code based on human understanding. Think back to the Germans pre-World War II. Germany was the birthplace of the Enlightenment. They were considered the most cultured of people, studying the latest sciences and philosophies.

And yet with their sophistication and their philosophies about humanity, they managed to rationalize the most inhumane behavior mankind has ever seen.

Why am I still frum? Because in a world where morality is based on human understanding - in a world without a G-dly moral code, - we are doomed.

I believe in G-d because I know that humanity without G-d allows atrocities like the Holocaust to happen,

I'm frum because I believe in G-d, and all the downfalls of the frum community cannot discredit that belief.

Is the community flawed? Yes. But these flaws are ones made by us puny humans, not by G-d.

So I continue to follow the word of G-d in spite of the flaws in the community, just as I will continue to fight to fix those flaws.

I continue to be frum. I continue to be a feminist. And they needn't be mutually exclusive.

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Note: For a thorough, and beautiful explanation on bris milah - circumcision - click here.

Quote Time

"Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity."

-Psychiatrist who refused Woodrow Wilson's request that he classify Alice Paul, a suffragette, as insane.

Ultimately, she helped win the fight to pass the 19th Amendment, giving women in the United States the right to vote. Aside from in Jewish community councils. Heaven knows I'd be thought insane if I challenged that norm.

It's on my to-do list.

(I haven't had a "Quote Time" in a while but I came across this one while reading an old post that I wrote and I thought it worth repeating.)

A Women's Revolution

The story of the upcoming holiday of Chanukah is one of the Jewish people being tyrannized by the Greek Empire. Not an unusual occurrence for the Jewish nation, in this [hi]story, the Jewish people got sick of it, started a military revolution, and won.

Ah, revolution. Music to my ears. And - even better! - I just read that it was a revolution fought for the women:

(The following is an excerpt from an article by Chana Kroll at Chabad.org.)

The hall was packed. This was no ordinary wedding, but the wedding of the daughter of one of Jerusalem’s most prominent families. Leaders in the still quiet and nonviolent rebellion against the Greeks, they were respected and loved by Jews throughout the Land ofIsrael. Not to mention that, as priests in the Temple, the family had been looked up to for generations.

Amidst the elegant flowers, soft music, and the conversations of the guests, the bride suddenly stood up, walked to the center of the room, placed her hand on her chest, and tore open her gown.

Shocked, angry, and embarrassed, her brothers rose to drag her from the room. But she stood firmly in place and addressed the room: “You who are so zealous that you would kill me, are not zealous enough to protect me from the hands of the Greek governor who will come here to assault me tonight.

“Did you not learn from Shimon and Levi, the brothers of Dinah, who, though only two men, killed the entire city of Shechem for her sake? Place your faith in the One Above, and He will help you.”

Her five brothers declared their willingness to go to war, and were answered by a voice emanating from the Holy of Holies promising victory. [...]

The Greeks outlawed Shabbat, the celebration of the New Moon, and Torahstudy. Jews hid in caves and continued to observe all three. The Greeks found hundreds of ways to try to stamp out Judaism. Jews found hundreds of ways to quietly rebel and to remain what they had always been. Then the Greek soldiers started assaulting Jewish women. The governor made a decree—unfortunately, a common one in ancient cultures—called jus primae noctis, “first night rights.” The governor would kidnap and assault every bride on her wedding night.

And then the Jews went to war.

The victory we celebrate on Chanukah is a victory on many levels. It is a victory of the few over the many, of light over darkness, of Jewish continuity in the face of all those who had sought, or would seek to, wipe out Judaism and Jewish history.

The Jewish people—men and women—defied every Greek law with enormous self-sacrifice, yet it was largely by and for the sake of Jewish women that the Maccabees were led to declare war.

The decisive moment occurred when one Jewish woman looked her brothers in the eye and told them, “You cannot let this happen to me.” It was a war, first and foremost, for sanctity—the sanctity of the Temple, the sanctity of Torah, and the sanctity of every human being.

Among the many miracles we acknowledge and commemorate as we kindle the lights of the menorah, we also acknowledge the simple truth of every woman’s sanctity and her right to personal safety and dignity.

I was excited to read this article because, as I was discussing with a colleague of mine recently, there aren't very many stories in modern Jewish history of frum women standing up for themselves. There are biblical and ancient stories, like this one, but even those are rare.

We need more female heroes in the frum community. Of course, I'd prefer killing the Greek bastards who tried to pull that jus primae noctis crap on me myself, instead of letting the guys do it, but - hey! - we've got to start somewhere.

Stop the Hush

The frum community excels at pretending that life within its borders is perfect. What else could life be in a world that is dedicated to serving G-d?

But evil knows no borders and it exists within the frum community just as surely as it does outside of it. The community is just good at hushing things up. I don't understand how anyone can prefer child (and spousal) abuse to admitting that there is a problem, but there you have it.

In more upbeat news, a book was recently published that tells the story of one of these hush-ups. The book is appropriately titled, "Hush," and is,

"...the story of Gittel, a girl growing up in Hasidic Borough Park, Brooklyn, who witnesses her best friend’s Devory’s sexual abuse at age 9. The perpetrator is Devory’s brother, a promising scholar home from yeshiva. Horror ensues, but the entire community conspires to pretend nothing has happened." (Click here for full book review.)

I applaud the author of this book for being brave enough to stand up and publish her story.

Republicans Winning Women?

Here's an interesting bit of news:

Last week's election results show that women voters, who have traditionally been primarily Democrats, are shifting to the Republican camp. (Like my color-coding?) The Los Angeles Times called it, "a jolting drop in female support this year for House Democrats".

The article went on to say that the drop is mostly because more married women voted Republican this year, but that single women, "historically one of the party's most loyal demographic groups" also voted for Republicans more than previously.

Pollsters blame it on Obama and Democratic leaders for failing to ease their financial stresses.

Thank you, Mr. President. We knew you'd have our backs.

We appreciate your support.