Why am I still frum?

I've spent so much time slamming the frum community on this blog that it's probably starting to sound like the answer to my question of, "Am I a frum feminist?" is that I'm more feminist than frum. I admit that I have misgivings about the frum community and my place in it. Why, after all, would I want to be a part of a community that I see so many flaws in?

In short, if I have so many problems with the frum world, why am I still frum?

The answer came to me this past week when I attended the bris ceremony (aka circumcision party) of my friends' 8 day old son.

As I stood in the crowd of people waiting to partake in the ceremony, I thought, "Oh my G-d, this is so barbaric! Crowding around a tiny baby, waiting to do that to him while serving a huge meal to celebrate, and everyone's smiling and laughing with each other..."

Except the celebration and the joy was about bringing this tiny person into a covenant (the real translation of the word, "bris",) - into a bond - with G-d, turning this apparently barbaric ceremony into the greatest sign of loyalty and love to G-d.

In a world where the moral code is based on human understanding, circumcision absolutely is barbaric. But in a world where the moral code comes from G-d, it becomes a sign of devotion.

There's no hope in this world for a moral code based on human understanding. Think back to the Germans pre-World War II. Germany was the birthplace of the Enlightenment. They were considered the most cultured of people, studying the latest sciences and philosophies.

And yet with their sophistication and their philosophies about humanity, they managed to rationalize the most inhumane behavior mankind has ever seen.

Why am I still frum? Because in a world where morality is based on human understanding - in a world without a G-dly moral code, - we are doomed.

I believe in G-d because I know that humanity without G-d allows atrocities like the Holocaust to happen,

I'm frum because I believe in G-d, and all the downfalls of the frum community cannot discredit that belief.

Is the community flawed? Yes. But these flaws are ones made by us puny humans, not by G-d.

So I continue to follow the word of G-d in spite of the flaws in the community, just as I will continue to fight to fix those flaws.

I continue to be frum. I continue to be a feminist. And they needn't be mutually exclusive.

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Note: For a thorough, and beautiful explanation on bris milah - circumcision - click here.

Feeling Old

I've talked a few times before - here and here - about going to weddings as a single young woman in the frum community and about the looks and comments you get because you're still single at the devastatingly old age of 23 (now 24.) 

I went to another one of these weddings last night. It was a huge, gorgeous wedding with hundreds of people and plenty of older women to whisper while staring at you, so I  started out feeling just as disgruntled as I usually do at these events. Over the evening, however, I noticed that many of the young married women who I went to school with are looking decidedly older than their ages. There were a number of these women who I didn't even recognize at first because they look so altered. 

It's no wonder the frum women think 24 is old: when you get married at 18 and have your first kid at 19, (and just keep on having them,) by the time you're 24 you really feel old. And look it too, unfortunately. 

On the brighter side, some of my married high school friends looked great. After I commented that the high school students at the wedding (the bride is their teacher) looked really small, one of these friends said to me, "Yeah, Frum-Fem, and they think that I'm an old lady! The way that they look at me just because I've got this wig on my head..." 

Imagine that. There I was, feeling bothered at the looks I was getting for not wearing a wig, and my friend bothered because she was getting looks for wearing a wig.

Palin Power

It's been nearly two weeks since John McCain introduced Sarah Palin as his vice-presidential running mate, so this post is long overdue.

I confess that I've been almost entirely cut off from this presidential campaign, especially compared to the last one where I campaigned for George W. As a conservative, I don't like Obama but, - also as a conservative, - I don't like John McCain either. His record in the senate is entirely too liberal for my taste. So I've been sitting out this election; disliking Obama wasn't enough of an incentive to get me to campaign for another man I don't like.

As I wrote previously, in a race where it was McCain running against Hillary, I would have voted for Hillary because I considered them to be equals politically and at least with her we'd finally have a woman in the White House.

So how do you think I felt when I woke up on August 29 to hear that John McCain had chosen a woman as his vice-president?

"That is awesome!" I said as I read the news reports, laughing out loud to myself.

And the news just got better and better: she's a mom of five kids; her youngest has Down's Syndrome (I've always admired the parents of children with special needs); she's a lifetime member of the NRA; she started out as governor of Alaska and was now being considered for the position for vice-president of the United States... She was where I've dreamed of being myself. (Well, my dream is to become governor of California and then run for President, but it's almost the same.)

It was the first time that I felt excited about this election and determined that I would definitely be voting for McCain. (Not that I would have voted for Obama; I would have just abstained.)

It was the smartest move - or, possibly, the only smart move - that McCain has made during this entire campaign. My (very) liberal history professor claims that she's just a dumb redneck woman who I'm smarter than (that's what he said) who doesn't have the experience necessary to run this country. He says he can't understand for the life of him why McCain chose her as his VP. I suggested that maybe he was trying to get more conservatives to support his campaign, and though he disagreed, that's still what I think.

It definitely got me on board.