Sunday, September 2, 2012

Confessions From the Dark Side. Part 1

In the interest of erasing the taboo that admitting that you have faults is wrong, I'm going to start publishing confessions from my own dark side. And for every honest confession I get in return in the comments section, I'll publish a new one. 

Confession #1: 

I enjoy listening to "non-Jewish" music.

This might sound like a really stupid confession to people unfamiliar with the frum world, but in the frum world, you're not allowed to listen to "goyishe music". We were strongly reprimanded in school (elementary and high) if our teachers found out we listened to the radio. "Do you listen to the radio?" was a code question for, "Just how frum are you?" It's a question they ask in shidduchim (the matchmaking system in the frum world) to rate just how worthy you are of a "good guy" (or "good girl", if you're a guy.)

So... Yes. I listen to the radio. I'm currently listening to a song called, "Spiralling" by the band Keane on Spotify. It just switched to "We Are Young" by "Fun." 

Now it's your turn. Confessions, people, if you want another from me. We're all (well, not me, so much, anymore) speaking anonymously here. 

13 comments:

  1. I was present in a shiur during NCSY Kollel given by Rabbi Moshe Taragin of Gush where he explained that there IS secular music worth listening to. While many songs are full of nivel peh, and speak of topics like pritzus etc, songs that talk about meaningful things like life lessons are permitted and can/should be benefited from.

    I just wrote a post about such a song called "This" by Darius Rucker, formerly of Hootie and the Blowfish: http://www.walkingthegreyline.blogspot.com/2012/08/thank-g-d-for-all-i-missed.html

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  2. I was raised with a different philosophy towards "goyishe music." Where I'm from, anything written by a "goy", or not written with a holy purpose in mind, is considered off limits.

    BTW, I love "This". It's a greast song.

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    1. Coming from a YU Torah-Umadda hashkafic perspective, though I originally thought as you mentioned when I became a ba'al teshuva, I think it is certainly worthwhile to benefit from the positive, inspirational secular pop culture elements out there. Granted, there is always a filtration process to ignore the trash, but one can find some very nice songs out there.

      Here's another song that a friend once shared with me. It's called "Crawling in the Dark" by a band called Hoobastank. The original rock version is pretty high energy, and it was a song I used to listen to when I was frustrated with life - and particularly dating - not know how things were going to turn out, but really wanting some glimpse to make sure everything would be okay in the end, despite the feeling that life can feel like you're crawling blindly in the dark sometimes.

      Original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLO5EFwtyHw

      and a beautiful live acoustic version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHxnVv8dxRs

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    2. FrumFeminist, I actually was raised with the same kind of worldview. I remember first really listening to 'goyishe' music in 12th grade. It felt so wrong at first (though for some reason it also made me feel 'cool', like I'm in on a secret others aren't). Now I just listen to it casually, preferring older music to the more current stuff, though I do listen to modern pop too (and classical music is quite enjoyable as well).

      I actually had an interesting conversation with my mom recently where 'goyishe' music came up: http://thefrumgeek.blogspot.com/2012/10/liking-comics-not-tznius.html

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    3. I've been trying to go to Comic-Con for years but have no one to go with!

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    4. Nor do I, but I go anyways, and usually run into interesting people. Hey, if you're there next year maybe we can meet up lol!

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    5. I was referring to the NY one.

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    6. Ah, well, call me a snob but in my mind the only Comic Con is the San Diego Comic Con. :P

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    7. There's actually talk that the NY one could overtake it in a few years.

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    8. Oh, no way. San Diego Comic Con is way to established.

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  3. In my high school, I probably would have been expelled had I been caught with "goyishe" music. So, definitely raised with that worldview as well.

    I've managed, at various times, to work on every nisayon thrown my way, but music I've always found the hardest.

    I can accept that (for men) to listen to male artists is muttar, but filtering is a bit impractical, no? That means looking up lyrics before listening to the song (which means no radio).

    @SoG: Wasn't such a fan of the original, but the acoustic version is brilliant!

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    1. Yeah, I've pretty much given up on filtering music. I turn the radio off for certain songs (anything Chris Brown, for example - but that's a philosophical and political and just-plain-disgusted-with-the-guy thing) but other than that, I don't bother.

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