Armed & Feminine

A few months ago I wanted to show off a new hat to a friend of mine, an American soldier (Hooah!) recently returned from Iraq. Here's the hat:

Yes, I'm an NRA member.

Cue: Shadchanim run away screaming

My friend responded, "That's funny. I thought that religious women don't have the right to bare arms."

For a second I stared at her, mentally running through all the Jewish laws that I could think of which might prohibit women from using guns... Until I realized she was talking about the Jewish laws of modesty, (which I talk about here.)

Boy, was I relieved.

In the latest issue of "America's 1st Freedom" magazine (published by the NRA), there's an article that cites the growing numbers of women interested in guns. "Of our 54% growth rate in 2007, 66% of that represented people new to shooting. And 40% of the 54% were women," says a shooting range owner in the article.

Apparently women want to be able to defend themselves. I know that's why I'm an NRA member.

I can admit that here on this anonymous blog, where only a VERY few of my viewers know who I really am. I wasn't completely kidding when I cued the shadchanim running away screaming. It's dangerous to be a feminist who likes guns in frum society. I told my mom today, after reading the article about women and guns, that we could eliminate (from the shiddichim business, not literally,) great numbers of guys if we told shadchanim that I'm a member of the NRA.

She was not amused.

I have to keep my gun enthusiasm quiet if I want to be accepted in frum society. So if you're out there reading this and you know who I am, keep quiet about it, will ya?

W - The President

I'm in the library right now doing some work and I'm wearing one of my, "W - The President" baseball caps. The one I'm wearing now is the less "obnoxious" one; it's black and says, "W" on the front and, "The President" on the back. I bought it during the 2004 election, when I was helping with the Bush campaign.

My other "W" hat says, "W - STILL the President," on it. I bought that one after Bush won. It was a, "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, we won!" hat. I wore it for Purim that first year and got maybe one look in shul.

Right now, I'm getting tons of them. Every person who walks by is eying me like I'm a child of the devil.

I know I'm one of the last remaining few who still likes Dubya. Especially here in Democrat-blue-country California. I haven't looked at his popularity ratings in a while, but I know they're in the dregs.

They are better than Olmert's, though that's not saying much. I picked up a copy of, "The Jewish Journal," today, a truly awful excuse for a newspaper here in LA put out by the Jewish Federation, and on the cover it announced, "OLMERT'S APPROVAL RATING GOES UP -- TO 3%"

But Olmert truly deserves his ratings. He's a terrible Prime Minister. Bush, however... If I were to say this aloud I'd likely be stoned with rotten vegetables, but he really hasn't done such a bad job as President. That's just a fact.

But people don't care about facts when it comes to Bush. They just plain hate him. "He's dumb and evil!" they declare. "Bush is today's Hitler!" liberals scream.

How is it that everyone has forgotten Saddam Hussein? How he gassed and tortured his own people? Does that sound familiar to anyone else?

And then everyone whines and cries about Bush going into Iraq. Forget the fact that he went in with Congressional approval so every member of Congress who voted to go to war is just as liable as him; how can any Jewish person in the world not rejoice in the downfall of Saddam Hussein, the mini-Hitler of our time?

Or, since Purim just passed, the true Haman of our time. Didn't anyone else see the picture of Jewish U.S. troops celebrating Purim in the palace of Saddam Hussein, of cursed memory?

Jewish philosophy teaches that it's our job to take the sparks of negative energy into the world and turn them into sparks of positive, G-dly energy. If celebrating Purim in Saddam Hussein's palace isn't flipping the evil sparks of Saddam's reign onto their collective backs, throwing them into G-dliness, I don't know what is.

How can a Jew still hate Bush, seeing this? Seriously; I know I have readers who dislike Bush -- explain it to me!