They use scarves, hats, wigs, and (ugly) snoods. Depending on the community, some wear only scarves, only wigs, only hats, and even only wigs with a hat on top. I never understood that one - it seemed kind of deceptive to me to be wearing a hat on top of a wig, which could be mistaken as the real hair that the woman is trying to cover with her hat.
Personally, I like hats. Not for covering my hair (unless you count bad hair days) but just because I like hats.
That doesn't mean that when I get married I'm going to wear hats to cover my hair; in fact, I plan to wear -- very expensive, very authentic-looking -- wigs when I get married.
But you can't say, "I like hats," in the frum community without getting a barrage of comments about covering your hair for marriage.
Case in point: I visited some cousins in Israel during the summer a few years ago and happened to be wearing a hat. It was sunny and the hat was cute, so I wore it. As girls tend to do, I asked my cousin, "So, how does this hat look?" and instead of telling me whether she liked the hat, she said:
"Don't wear it. You look married."
Seriously? I'm supposed to give up wearing hats because someone might mistake me for being a married woman? Oh, the horror.
I haven't given it up, and neither have the double-takes that people I know give me when they see me wearing a hat. Just a few weeks ago I was wearing a hat in the supermarket and bumped into the husband of a friend of mine. It was raining hard that day, which should have been enough to keep him from standing there blinking at me owlishly, but it wasn't.
"Did you get married?" he asked me.
"Nope. It's raining. I like wearing hats," I answered him. "And that's hat discrimination!"
I sometimes cover my head in a headscarf though I am single. I do it predominantly for reasons of comfort, (keeps my hair safe and neat and away from my face) but also, I like the way it looks. (I do not do so in places where I am likely to meet single men).
ReplyDeleteI object not to haircovering per se, but to visible symbols differentiating women based on their sexuality. This is objectifying to both groups of women.
In ancient Mesopotamia, prostitutes were FORBIDDEN to cover their hair.
In many Islamic countries, sexual harrassment of bareheaded "bad" women is acceptable. (In many of those societies, women begin covering their heads at puberty- also a sexual symbol.)
In our community, the differentiation is between higher status, married women, and lower status, unmarried women.
No wonder why women who aren't otherwise particularly concerned with tznius will spend a zillion dollars on a wig. Actually even women are are otherwise concerned with tznius will spend the same amount on lustrous, glamorous not-to-tznius looking wig.
Because it's all about status, and being married is higher.
Thanks for the historical facts, Kisa. They're good to know.
ReplyDeleteOh, you are SO right about the status thing...
"I never understood that one - it seemed kind of deceptive to me to be wearing a hat on top of a wig, which could be mistaken as the real hair that the woman is trying to cover with her hat."
ReplyDelete"in fact, I plan to wear -- very expensive, very authentic-looking -- wigs when I get married."
hmm :)
What's this, "hmm :)"? Criticism? Approval?
ReplyDeleteApple you got it all wrong, the very expensive authentic looking wig isn't about being deceptive. No way, a jewish girl rather be mistaken for a single again. It's about looking glamorous, suave, and sexy. After all you're a married woman now.
ReplyDeleteConsidering your attitude, you should stop calling yourself a Frum Feminist and instead just call yourself a Feminist.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: When you say that I should call myself just a feminist, are you saying that you can't be frum AND a feminist? Because I am frum. And I'm also a feminist.
ReplyDeleteThe "hmm" was that if you're worried about wearing a deceptive hat, why aren't you worried about wearing a deceptive sheitel?
ReplyDeleteOh, you can ALWAYS tell that it's a wig. No matter how expensive. Believe me.
ReplyDelete